A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “why the long face?”
Aug
01-07
Two fish
Posted in Animal Jokes
So there are these two fish in a tank right, and the one fish asks the other fish, “How do you drive this thing?”
Aug
01-07
Y did the chicken cross the road?
Posted in Animal Jokes
Y did the chicken cross the road?
It never did, it was ran over by a car.
Aug
01-07
Prowling Cat
Posted in Animal Jokes
A lady had a beautiful black cat, Midnght, who spent his days outside and came indoors
at night.
One crisp fall evening he disappeared.
The lady searched for him in vain.
The following spring, however, Midnight reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he’d been sowing his wild oats.
Everything was back to normal, until that fall, when Midnight […]
Aug
01-07
Is Martha Stewart stalking your dog
Posted in Animal Jokes
Ten top ways to tell if Martha Stewart is stalking your dog
10. There’s potpourri hanging from your pooch’s collar.
9. The dog’s nails have been trimmed with pinking shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows.
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water […]
Aug
01-07
A friend who doesn’t know chick from chicken
Posted in Animal Jokes
A farmer boy asks his friend,also a farmer boy, “Do you have a chick?”
The boy’s friend answers, “yah, do you?”
“nope, is she cute?” the friend answers, “what do you mean she?”
“i mean your chick.”
“my chick’s a boy.”
“what??!?? you’ve got a boy for a girl friend?”
“Oh, no, i was talking about my chicken.”
“what’d you say? your […]
Aug
01-07
Thirsty Camels
Posted in Animal Jokes
A man wants to cross a desert, so he goes to a buy a camel. He goes to a local camel vender and acquires a camel.
He then goes off to cross the desert and a few miles out the camel drops dead, apparently of thirst.
The man goes back to the camel back to the […]
Aug
01-07
How to give a cat a pill
Posted in Animal Jokes
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth […]
Aug
01-07
The man, the lion, ANd the police officer
Posted in Animal Jokes
A man was walking a lion down the street when they were stopped by a police officer.
The police officer said, “You should’t be walking that lion down the street, you need to take him to the zoo.”
The man replies, “OK”.
The next day he sees the same police officer again, and he still had his lion.
The […]
Aug
01-07
Heard on the farm
Posted in Animal Jokes
Two cows were standing in a pasture.
A young bull came by struttin his stuff and said, “Good morning laides.”
One of the cows said, “Mooooo!”
The second cow thought to her self, “Damn! I was going to say that.”
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