Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.
“So,” Peter asks the first guy, “how many times did you cheat on your wife?”
“None. I had a perfect marriage.”
“Great,” says Peter. “You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your […]
Sep
21-07
Three Guys in heaven
Posted in Uncategorized
Sep
21-07
Nursing Home
Posted in Medical Joke
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, “Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?”
The nurse explains, “The hot chocolate will help him sleep.”
The man […]
Sep
21-07
Parrot
Posted in Animal Jokes
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ”Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on her way.
On the way home, she passed by the petstore again and the parrot once more said “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into […]
Sep
21-07
10:00 Everywhere
Posted in Uncategorized
In America, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your children are?
In England, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it’s 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Poland, they say it’s 10:00 do you know what time it is?
Sep
21-07
How to Speak Redneck
Posted in Uncategorized
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck.”
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.”
RANCH […]
Sep
12-07
A Husband’s Talking Role
Posted in Uncategorized
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married […]
Sep
12-07
The very high health care costs
Posted in Uncategorized
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them.
In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting […]
Sep
12-07
Playing Doctor
Posted in Medical Joke
Two children were in a doctor’s waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing.
“Why are you crying?” asked the little boy.
“I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger,” said the girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
“Why are you crying?” asked the girl.
The boy looked at her […]
Sep
12-07
Twas the Night before Finals
Posted in Uncategorized
T’was the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.
Snowman Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
Would get their brains thinking.
In my own apartment,
I had been pacing,
Dreading all those exams
I soon would be […]
Sep
12-07
Ten worst gifts to buy a woman
Posted in Uncategorized
1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make “housework” easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a informercial. One allowed choice is a […]
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