Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!
Mar
26-07
School
Posted in School and college jokes
Mar
26-07
Never argue with a kid
Posted in School and college jokes
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]
Mar
26-07
Med school qualities
Posted in School and college jokes
Students at a Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They were all gather around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the professor started telling them ‘In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is […]
Mar
26-07
Little April
Posted in School and college jokes
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher tried to catch little April out to see if she was paying attention in class. She called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a […]
Mar
26-07
Late for School
Posted in School and college jokes
Mother: Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you’ll be late for school.
Victor: Aw, Mum do I have to? All the teachers pick on me, and all the kids hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
Victor: Give me a good reason
Mother: You’re 34 and you’re the Head Master!
Mar
26-07
Involuntary Muscular Contractions
Posted in School and college jokes
A professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to
his first year medical students.
Realising that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided
to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what
your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”
She replied, “Fishing […]
Mar
26-07
Honey Lifesavers
Posted in School and college jokes
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver one at a time and asked them to identify them by colour and flavour.
The children tasted and replied: “Red… cherry”, “Yellow…. lemon”, “Green…. lime”, “Orange … orange.”
Finally, […]
Mar
26-07
Double Positive?
Posted in School and college jokes
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped […]
Mar
26-07
School
Posted in School and college jokes
Unfortunately, the school board was forced to
cut fifteen percent off all teachers.
Every day I study hardly.
I have really good news.
I passed both my testes last week.
College is expensive.
But it can help you live a bitter life.
If I study really hard,
I will graduate in 2004 years.
I am studied hard in science class.
After four years of college I […]
Mar
26-07
Teacher Jokes
Posted in School and college jokes
Q: Are you in the top half of your class?
A: No, I’m one of the students who make the top half possible!Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon?
Pupil: The horse will draw it!
Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class?
Pupil: My mother won’t let me do it […]
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