These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.
It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.
“When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.”
“H2O is hot […]
Mar
26-07
Science Answers…
Posted in School and college jokes
Mar
26-07
School exam
Posted in School and college jokes
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrows final exam. Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”
A smart-ass guy […]
Mar
26-07
Fun on first day of class …
Posted in School and college jokes
This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class.
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. […]
Mar
26-07
Impossible final exams …
Posted in School and college jokes
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.
Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.
Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed […]
Mar
26-07
A new professor’s diary …
Posted in School and college jokes
Jan 3rd, 1995
I have long heard of the lives of the privileged classes, and now I have prepared myself to experience life as a member. Tomorrow, I will don the the uniform of the academic and re-enter society, NOT as I once was, a worker and pawn of the educated classes, but as a peer […]
Mar
26-07
The homework schedule …
Posted in School and college jokes
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the […]
Mar
26-07
Course evaluation results …
Posted in School and college jokes
These are actual student evaulation comments taken from an MIT course evaluation guide in the fall semester of 1991.
“This class was a religious experience for me… I had to take it all on faith.”
“Text makes a satisfying `thud’ when dropped on the floor.”
“The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree.”
“His blackboard technique […]
Mar
26-07
Try to bribe a professor …
Posted in School and college jokes
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his […]
Mar
26-07
Question and answer
Posted in School and college jokes
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet!
Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
What is the center of gravity?
The alphabet!
What is the Great Depression?
when you get a […]
Mar
26-07
Question and answer
Posted in School and college jokes
Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class:Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
Student: The brain is a wonder full thing
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
Teacher: Be […]
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