Do you know why the Texas Aggies use artificial turf in their football stadium?
It helps stop their cheerleaders from grazing!
Mar
26-07
Aggies
Posted in School and college jokes
Mar
26-07
Sleeping Katie
Posted in School and college jokes
Joey and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
“Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?” Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty! !” Exclaimed Katie.
“Correct.” Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up “Who […]
Mar
26-07
The student, the businessman and the biker
Posted in School and college jokes
There were three guys at a bar.
One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker.
The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas “Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she’ll […]
Mar
26-07
Student Report Cards
Posted in School and college jokes
1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student […]
Mar
26-07
Children’s Answers to Science Exam Questions
Posted in School and college jokes
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes […]
Mar
26-07
Analogies, similes & metaphors found in high school essays
Posted in School and college jokes
~ Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
~ His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like socks in a dryer without Cling Free.
~ He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went […]
Mar
26-07
Unfaithful?
Posted in School and college jokes
A bloke is in a queue at the Super Market when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from, […]
Mar
26-07
Tommy’s Homework
Posted in School and college jokes
Tommy says to the teacher “Miss. would you ever punish me for something i didn’t do?”
The teacher replies “No, Tommy of course not”
“Good cause i didn’t do my homework!”
Mar
26-07
The Professor And His Wife
Posted in School and college jokes
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54-years-old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the […]
Mar
26-07
Teacher is Always Right?
Posted in School and college jokes
“Miss?”
“What is it Tommy?”
“I is-”
“No Tommy, I am…”
“… I is-”
“No Tommy, it’s I am…”
“… I is-”
“I am, Tommy!”
“I am the letter immediately after ‘H’ in the alphabet.”
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