Travis goes to the doctor and tells the doctor”I c-c-can’t s-s-stop s-s-stuttering”.the doctor checks him over and says”the problem is your dick is to big and it’s pulling down on your vocal cord and causing you to stutter.the way to fix it is to cut half of it off”.Travis says “w-w-whatever it t-t-takes”.Six weeks later […]
Mar
20-07
Headaches
Posted in Medical Joke
A man comes to the doctor with a long history of migrane headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migranes and STILL no improvement. “Listen,” says the doc. “I have migranes, too…and the advice I’m going to […]
Mar
20-07
Doctor visit
Posted in Medical Joke
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help.
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good.
On his third visit the doctor told the man, “Go home and take a hot bath. As […]
Mar
20-07
News
Posted in Medical Joke
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you […]
Mar
20-07
Checkup
Posted in Medical Joke
This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, “You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?”She says, “I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the […]
Mar
20-07
Second opinion
Posted in Medical Joke
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you […]
Mar
20-07
Short doctor jokes
Posted in Medical Joke
Q: Why did the nurse have a long pole and two rubber gloves?
A: Her way of not getting pregnant.Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: If you aim it well enough.
Receptionist: ‘Dr. Wynazonski is waiting for you.’
Patient: ‘Which doctor?’
Receptionist: ‘Oh, no, he’s fully qualified.’
Student doctor: ‘Please sir, there’s some writing on this […]
Mar
20-07
Hoping..
Posted in Medical Joke
“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
Mar
20-07
Doctor, doctor!
Posted in Medical Joke
“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me - I just can’t stop my hands shaking!”
“Do you drink a lot?”
“Not really - I spill most of it!”
Mar
19-07
Captain Ronald
Posted in Medical Joke
Could you please tell me the condition of Captain Ronald in Room No. 605?
He was operated upon last week and I’d like to know his condition.’
The nurse excused herself and then returned to the phone. ‘I have just checked Captain Ronald’s chart. His condition is excellent and he seems to be making steady […]
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